Survival Made Her Quiet

The Discerner had been bracing for so many years, she mistook guardedness for her personality.

She forgot she was charismatic.
Forgot she was witty.
Forgot how easily laughter once found her.
Forgot what a beautiful soul she was before survival made her quiet, agreeable, and endlessly accommodating.

She found her way back slowly.

By noticing where her body tightened before she said yes.
By letting disappointment belong to other people.
By moving the anger she had swallowed instead of calling it peace.
By choosing relationships where she did not have to perform safety.
By resting before exhaustion forced her to disappear.
By speaking while her voice was still trembling.

And little by little, the armor stopped doing all the talking.

Her humor returned first.
Then her opinions.
Then her playfulness.
Then the unmistakable glow of a woman who was no longer using all her energy to brace for what might happen next.

She did not lose herself.

She had been standing guard over herself for years.

And when she finally felt safe enough to step away from the door, there she was—charming, hilarious, discerning, and deeply alive.

xoxo