Toxic Triggers
Learning to Dance with Triggers✨
A trigger is anything that sets you off emotionally and awakens old memories of trauma. In that moment, you might feel like you’ve been pulled back into the past — reliving the same feelings, thoughts, or behaviors you carried during the painful situation.
The instinct is to avoid triggers at all costs. But here’s the truth: avoiding your triggers isn’t healing. Healing happens when the trigger comes, and you choose to walk through it differently.
Facing the Trigger
For years, I dreaded challenges. The moment I felt “set off,” I braced for setback. I resisted, I fought, I ran — and every time, I lost a little piece of myself to the fear.
But what I’ve learned is this: the trigger isn’t the enemy. It’s an invitation. A mirror. A chance to move through the emotions, behaviors, and stories — and arrive at a different ending than the one my trauma once wrote for me.
Reframing Challenge
Nowadays, I don’t run from challenges. In fact, I look forward to them. Not because they’re comfortable, but because I know they’re the fire that forges me.
I no longer say: “Oh no, here we go again.”
Now I say: “I don’t know how I’m going to win, but as long as I stay calm and in control, I won’t lose.”
This shift changed everything.
The Practice of Meeting Triggers
Here’s what helps me move through triggers with more grace:
Pause + Breathe – The first breath after being triggered is the most powerful. It tells your body you’re safe.
Name It – Saying “I’m triggered” out loud takes away shame and brings clarity.
Choose Your Ending – You can’t control the trigger, but you can write a new ending by staying rooted.
Reframe the Story – Instead of “this is happening to me,” try “this is happening for me.”
Closing Wisdom
Healing isn’t about never being triggered again. It’s about learning how to meet the trigger, breathe into it, and walk yourself through it without collapsing.
Your calm is your superpower.
Your control is your freedom.
And your presence is the proof that you’ve already won. 🌿